So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
