Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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