so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
