i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
