There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
