So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
