thus making me awesome and them whores
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
