You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
