there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
