Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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