we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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