check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
