That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
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We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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