from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
