Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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