After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
