Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
