Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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