Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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