You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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