Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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