The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
