i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
