we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Someone came in the potted fern
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
