just come out here and I will go home with you...
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
