You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
