Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
whose ass print is on the piano?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
