So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
