She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
