He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
do nipples grow back?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
