I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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