don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
