Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
