her vagina looked like bernie madoff
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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