I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize