Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Randomize
