I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
