Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
