3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
where am i from again
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
