Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I need water and some morals
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
