I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
