just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
