In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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