Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
