Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
