I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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