How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
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I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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