Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
