drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
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they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
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will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."