chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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