Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
