Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize