I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
