i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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