Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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