can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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