none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Randomize
