i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize