Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Randomize
