I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
